A series of short stories, ridiculous poems, and bad art developed as a tribute to grandmothers everywhere. Originally published online in 2016, they are reproduced here for your viewing pleasure.
Grandma Poems
When Grandma Sabotaged Snack Time
Grandma’s cookies are crummy and sweet, but lactose is a dangerous addition to the treat.
When Grandma Said a Swear
Grandma loses a game, and rather than bite her lip, she opens her mouth and lets garbage slip.
When Grandma Butchered My Bangs
Resigned to her care, Grandma sees an chance to ruin my hair.
My Grandma
Grandma Introduction
An introduction to my Grandma, the inspiration for many of the stories on this page.
Argue for Sport
Grandma was the resident contrarian. She must have known, and perhaps feared, that one of her grandchildren would inherit this trait. One day I took a swing at the champ.
The Witch
From the bath I begged to see the witch. The witch obliged.
Fictional Grandmas
Moana
Grandmas are often the only people capable of providing unconditional support. They believe you are doing exactly what you need to do to get to where you need to go.
The House of the Spirits
Grandmas create a cohesive force for politically and socially fractured families. Without that force, those in orbit often drift away.
Happy Gilmore
“Happy Gilmore” is the last comedy made by Adam Sandler. The plot is set in motion due to events surrounding a motivating Grandma.